Since the beginning of… Me… I’ve always struggled with expressing what I have in my head to others at times. Everything that was processed in my brain just come out so differently in the worst situations. Being born in China and not having English as my first language certainly doesn’t help.

The problem with not being able to deliver and communicate my ideas through to others in an effective manner has always bothered me, and it is one of my most significant flaws. This problem does not always occur as I am able to communicate with most people normally, but it does happen in the worst of times. During the lab time when I was in the meeting with my team members, Peter walked over and asked about the long-term strategy of our team. Being the CEO, it was expected of me to answer the simple question loud and easy because I have proposed the strategy several times to our team members. However, despite that I had it in my head, it was as if I'd lost the ability to speak English, and I was not able to deliver our strategy to Peter. One of our team members had to finish the sentence for me. It was extremely embarrassing, and I felt so ashamed of being the CEO of our team.

According to Yukl (2013), most of the important strategic decisions were made outside the formal planning process, and that strategies were formulated in an incremental, flexible, and intuitive manner. This is true for me as the CEO because I’ve always planned the strategies, objectives, and agendas for the team in prior to the meetings as well as addressing them again during the meeting. Before the meetings, I always proposed the strategies and objectives to the team in different forms such as messages in the group chat or emailing them to the team members just in case I don’t deliver them clear enough during the meeting. This is because it allows time for me to formulate and prepare my ideas in my head and present them to the team in a clear and effective manner. Yukl (2013) says that characteristic managerial roles emphasize the types of activities commonly expected of managers. One of those roles that are important for me as the CEO is the leader role. This means that I am responsible for making the team function as an integrated whole in the pursuit of its purpose. However, I lack the important spokesperson role which is responsible for delivering information and expressing value statements to people outside our team. Even though it doesn’t always occur, it is essential for me to improve communication under pressure in order to become a better CEO.

To address this problem in the future, I will practice and improve my confidence in speaking under pressure as well as improving my English language. I will do this by continuing with my Toast Masters program as it is designed to improve my communication and public speaking skills. As for the team, I will make sure that everyone understands me clearly during the discussions and the meetings and point out anything that they are unsure of.

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