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This week for me was dominated by a new sense of belonging. My group has remained formal and professional throughout the simulation process so far and this week we received feedback from all the other members of the group which we entered and receive anonymously online. We planned to have a half way review of one another right from the get-go when we drew up our team contract on the first day of meeting. At first the benefits to me, were just that we would have a physical and formal paper trail just in case we had one slacker that we wanted to punish in the scoring process but it has turned out to be a real blessing for me. I was so sure that they would all marginalise me as being stupid or having no clue about Mikes Bikes (and that’s how I feel sometimes) but instead they were really insightful and kind. All of the comments suggested that I need not feel embarrassed and just to have a little confidence.

They are right, and yet I’m not sure where these insecurities have come from. Usually I am extraverted. Loud even. I searched through the readings a long while to find something that would help me to understand, let alone solve, my problem. None of the key messages really jumped out at me but Davies and Easterby-Smith (1984) mention numerous times that for learning to occur (my main objective in the course), where I can recognise and combat challenges, I have to be self-confident. The two elements required for development are confidence and freedom. I have freedom to change my job in response to what happens in the simulation, more so than in my real job. So what’s the problem? I’m far from stupid. Thinking back to week 3, that’s where it all started. I was intimidated by the other loud personalities of the group. I had never before experienced a team that didn’t need leadership and I decided then to respond by being a follower. But I’m doing something wrong. This week I plan to go back to week 3’s leadership readings and be the effective follower that I know I can be and that I need to be. For now, I have to fake it till I make it. 

Davies, J., & Easterby-Smith, M. (1984). Learning and developing from managerial work experiences. Journal of Management Studies, 21(2), 169--182. doi:10.1111/j.1467-6486.1984.tb00230.x

3 Comments

  1. Hi Marina,

    I enjoyed reading your journal this week, and found myself able to relate to your thoughts. I too consider myself an extrovert and a loud person. But this situation threw me and in order to develop - we had to grab some motivation and be confident. So I was happy to read that I wasn't alone in that. I would suggest, maybe, explaining more clearly the things you experienced in your group work and maybe more explanation as to what you did to overcome it - other than just 'being more self confident'. This would allow the reader to see your connections between your experiences and this weeks readings - in order to show a better understanding.

    I also got a little lost in the structure of your journal - I could grasp what you were trying to say but think that maybe a clearer structure would help lift your journal from good to great! So reflecting back over Daudelin's reading may help for your summative journal!

    Well done & good luck!

     

     

     

  2. Hi Marina,

    I enjoyed reading your journal and found it quite interesting reading about the dynamics and the way you have felt so far within your group. However, I found it quite contradictory that you are hoping to make a genuine change and be the effective follower that you know you could be yet you are willing to fake it till you make it. By the sounds of it, in a team full of extroverts who like yourself may also have "never before experienced a team that didn’t need leadership" it must've been quite hard for born leaders to follow and there is no doubt that it may have bruised a few egos amongst your team mates. I commend you however for being proactive about the problem you articulated and for realising that you just needed a confidence boost but I truly feel through your writing that you are a very confident woman with presence. I suggest that you stand your ground and not shake just because someone may have a louder voice than you as I feel that you have the power to offer more commanding and calculated inputs to your group by picking the times you speak. So no need to fake it, I believe you've made it already, just needed a gentle reminder. On your writing it lacked structure and depth and felt a bit rushed but that can be fixed for next week. All the best for the rest of the semester (smile)

  3. This week I plan to go back to week 3’s leadership readings and be the effective follower

    Ok, I like where you got to with this. It would be even better if you signaled how you were going to be an effective follower; what---specifically—are you going to try to do differently?

     

    ... and what, exactly, are you faking?